Individuality as an Artist

I was never one for a lot of socializing. I didn’t go out in high school, didn’t party, didn’t really hang out with friends often. I kind of just did my own thing, and I really didn't have a problem with it.

In college, it’s hard to do that in a sense, because there are so many people and things surrounding you: busy schedules, social events, and packed places. Where does one go to find some isolation?

I was always told by my peers that this isolation isn’t a good thing, that I’d get bored or upset after not doing the “cool” things that everyone else was doing. But, I didn’t feel the same way, because I didn’t find all of those “cool” things to be super cool. I enjoyed writing, analyzing movies, and listening to music. All of which are pretty normal for a teen to enjoy, yet I only enjoyed those things. I didn’t like to go out and party or just be in crowds of people.

It had been especially tough the first couple of months at UT Austin, surrounded by thousands of people who romanticize the life of constantly being out and about. I tried it a couple times, and was brutally reminded of why I didn’t enjoy the same things that others do. Admittedly, I had good times, but somehow, the next day, I always found myself back where I truly desired: independently writing, reading, and enjoying the things my heart enjoys.

The past month, though, I’ve focused on balance. I’ve found the right people that make those seemingly unenjoyable events a great time. And for a bit, I made that blur my focus for the things I’d always enjoyed.

It was like I was on a teeter totter of spending time with friends and enjoying my passions. I did too much of one of the two, and it was starting to ruin my progress with the other. After time, though, it became easy, because it eclipsed my mind that both of those make me who I am: how I interact with people, and how I interact with the things that make me who I am.